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Is free will real or just an illusion?

Today's big question is "is free will real or just an illusion?"


This blog is lucky in that it tackles big questions from two angles: snakes, and the economy. This allows for a more holistic evaluation of the daily question, and will be especially helpful for today's post. So, let's slip-n-slide into this bitch.

Free will (noun): the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one's own discretion.

Before we dive into whether humans have free will, let's examine the lives of snakes. Snakes are my gorgeous wife, and I treasure them. At first glance, you think that they're free because they aren't bound by the shackles of capitalism. But are they truly free? After all, snakes are all just lizard tails that have fallen off, and then grew into a separate organism.

I was in a class in which I discussed the topic of free will for several hours, but since none of the other people in there were well versed in the economy or snakes, I feel like I have wasted precious moments of my time. They did not see the importance of snake anatomy while discussing this question, and frankly, my head is spinning so I do not see the importance either.

Economically speaking, no living person has free will. We will dive into the lives of dead people (read: ghosts) in a future blog post, so for now we will focus on the living. Every living person has to pay taxes from the minute they are born until the day they successfully get off the grid and live their lives in the woods.

Therefore, free will is in fact an illusion. One cannot choose whether or not to pay taxes, so free will must clearly not exist.

If you have thoughts about this topic, I am unfortunately not taking mail. Instead, shout your beliefs into the void in hopes that they someday reach me!

Peace, love, snakes,
-MAD


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