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Showing posts from 2020

We Interviewed A Snake

 Hello all. Today the team at MAD wanted to break out of the mold. We've spent years writing about  snakes, but we had never paused to get real takes from real snakes during all this! We sat down with some snakes to hear what they had to say about life. The following is the transcribed version of the interview. MAD: Joining us today are three lovely snakes. I'd like to introduce Jackie, a rattlesnake. Next to her we've got Rocky, the anaconda that bit one of Nicki Minaj's backup dancers. Last, but certainly not least, we've got Samantha, a coffee snake. MAD: Before we slither in, I'd like to ask each of you some questions so our readers can get to know you a bit better. Jackie, can you tell us what life was like growing up as a snake? Jackie: ssssssssssssssssssssssssss MAD: Fascinating. There is so much stigma around rattlesnakes, so that story about the other children being afraid of you was hard to hear. Thank you for sharing. Jackie: sssssssss MAD: We're ...

What Makes Me MAD

You may already be aware that this publication is called MAD (My Aneconda Don't). It's tough out here being a herpetologist-economist-blogger-MMA champion-singer(in the shower)-amateur flautist-internet persona, but we make it work (Editor's Note: a herpetologist is someone who studies reptiles, in case you buffoons didn't already know). Reptile economics may be niche, but we at MAD are here to provide you with the absolute best content about snakes, and also the economy. However, there are things that just make our blood boil. Here are some of those things: 10.  A kettle. Coming in last place is the good ol' kettle. It's certainly a way to make our blood boil, but there are certainly more creative methods. 9. A pot on the stove over high heat. Nothing makes our blood boil quite like a pot heating up on the stovetop. It's a surefire way to heat anything up in a pinch. 8. In the oven. If we want slow-boiled blood, the oven is our best bet. We get so...

Economy: Exposed

Quick question: do snakes have legs? No! Of course not. That would be preposterous. But you know who has legs? Most human beings! Today I am going to talk about an oft-ignored aspect of economy: the flight class. Buckle up buckaroos, because this exposé has been a long time coming and MAD has some opinions! When you look up "economy planes definition" the lovely Miss Google tells you that the purchase of an economy ticket means that you will be sitting in the main cabin. I read this, and I thought "Sweet! I love cabins!" This is what I imagine when I think of cabins: Looks pretty neat, right? You hear you're gonna be sitting in this bad boy for 1-19 hours, and life doesn't seem so bad. Maybe I could fetch some firewood and cozy up, reading and drinking hot chocolate. Boy, was I in for the tomfoolery of my life. Apparently a plane's cabin isn't warm, welcoming, or wooden. Instead, a plane's cabin looks like this: Just looking at...