Millennials Are Ruining The Economy

Millennials. They buy so much avocado toast. If they have so much avocado for money toast, why don't they just? Toast their money? Set it ablaze? Same difference, avocado.

Millenia is a thousand years. Millennials are people who have been alive for a thousand years. They had so much time to save money, but they're wasting it all and they're taking the economy down with them.

Imagine a wealthy vampire. Now imagine Jeff Bezos. Consider the implications.

Sir Jeff wants to be immortalized. Vampires aren't immortal because they are dead. Does one need to be alive to be considered immortal? Or does "immortal" just mean one cannot die? But vampires can die?
The jury was out and now they are in and now they are an In-N-Out so this is inconclusive. We should've chosen better jurors.

HELLO!

Peace, love, economy,
-MAD

Author's note: this post was written 4 hours after I had 5oz of cold brew, excuse the brain noises, everything is not making sense.

Comments

Top 10 Coffee Snakes

Mmmmmmmmmmmm........... coffee. It's warm, it's a drug, and it goes sploosh in your stomach. But this post isn't about coffee, it's about snakes. In my post "Top 10 Kinds of Snakes," I ranked the genus Ninia as #1. Since there are 10 species in the genus Ninia, I thought today I would rank them. Before we get started, let's talk about Ninia snakes all together: they are native to Mexico, Central America, and the northern part of South America. They are commonly referred to as coffee snakes, hence the name of this post. 10. Ninia franciscoi It breaks my heart to rank any kind of coffee snake last, but seeing as I couldn't find any pictures of this species, I have to rank them here. Time to go into my mud hut and cry for seventeen days! 9. Ninia celata I couldn't find a better picture, sorry. But it's still beautiful. 8. Ninia atrata Also called Hallowell's coffee snake. It's wearing a red choker, which is SO 2006, but ...

Fun Snake Facts For Adults

There are so many lists of fun facts for kids, but why aren't there fun facts for adults? Adults can have fun. Adults deserve to have fun. Adulthood isn't terrifying, and I'm definitely not using this to distract myself of an oncoming existential crisis. Let's get to the fun (adult) facts! 1. Snakes don't have eyelids. Right off the bat, snakes can't close their eyes because they don't have eyelids! This means they sleep with their eyes open. Don't you wish you could sleep right now? Isn't adulthood exhausting? 2. Snakes have flexible jaws so they can eat food bigger than their head. Just like you, snakes can bite off more than they can chew. Actually, snakes can't bite or chew, but you get my point. Don't you feel so overwhelmed right now? Life is a prison. 3. A decapitated head of a snake can still bite for several hours after death. Doesn't this remind you of the person you thought you cut off who still manages to hurt you? T...

What is art?

Today we are tackling the question "what is art?" Art is a three letter word, and it doesn't stand for Actually Robin Thicke. Robin Thicke has been cancelled for what feels like decades, and he doesn't know what art is. Since this blog is about snakes and also the economy, i will discuss art from the standpoint of a reptile economist. Art is anything that is creative, and you can sell it for ca$h moneyz. For example, during the Harlem Renaissance , African Americans sold art and earned money, which created an African American middle class. How cool is that? Art can be of anything. Politics, your left shoe, anything is fair game for art. This is art of a snake. She is beautiful. I am in love with her. Art about snakes wraps around your heart and gently squeezes it, a lot like a snake. Sometimes art is mean and it bites you, like a snake. Sometimes art is made of scales, like a snake, which is Rad. Anyway, i hope you enjoyed this informative post answer...

My Aneconda Don't

Search This Blog