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Fun Snake Facts For Adults

There are so many lists of fun facts for kids, but why aren't there fun facts for adults? Adults can have fun. Adults deserve to have fun. Adulthood isn't terrifying, and I'm definitely not using this to distract myself of an oncoming existential crisis. Let's get to the fun (adult) facts!

1. Snakes don't have eyelids.
Right off the bat, snakes can't close their eyes because they don't have eyelids! This means they sleep with their eyes open. Don't you wish you could sleep right now? Isn't adulthood exhausting?

2. Snakes have flexible jaws so they can eat food bigger than their head.
Just like you, snakes can bite off more than they can chew. Actually, snakes can't bite or chew, but you get my point. Don't you feel so overwhelmed right now? Life is a prison.

3. A decapitated head of a snake can still bite for several hours after death.
Doesn't this remind you of the person you thought you cut off who still manages to hurt you? These snake bites may contain more venom than usual, which is pretty neat.

4. The fear of snakes is one of the most common phobias in the world.
This fear (called ophiophobia or herpetophobia) may be common, but so is a fear of the unknown or that all of life is meaningless, or a fear that everyone is your life is pretending to like you but talks about you behind your back, or the fear that you're an imposter and everything you've built for yourself is a lie and that you yourself are living a lie, or that you will end up alone, so, so, alone. Anyway, snakes!

5. There are five recognized species of flying snakes.
That's another thing to be afraid of!

6. The heaviest snake in the world is the anaconda.
The namesake of this blog weighs over 270kg (595lbs). That's dummy thicc!

7. Snakes only need to eat 6-30 meals a year to be healthy.
You wish you could do this! Instead, you waste your weekends meal-planning and meal-prepping. How depressing.

8. Snakes have sex.
I'm sure you already knew that, and I don't want to describe the whole process. Go watch snakes fuck on your own, you pervert! This is just a friendly reminder that snakes are having sex and you aren't. Enjoy dying alone!

Anyway, I hope you liked this list of fun snake facts for adults.
Peace, love, snakes,
-MAD
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