Skip to main content

What is the meaning of life?

Life is a lot of things. You can eat ice cream, see friends, jump into an active volcano..... the possibilities are endless. But mostly, life is about snAKES and the economy. Here are the top ten meanings of life. Have fun, you majestic creature!

10. 47
Many people think that the meaning of life is 42, but they're wrong and don't deserve to ever eat a ripe fruit. Take that, you crusty banana-eating pieces of shit.

9. Actual Definiton
Google, my beautiful wife that I procreate with daily, told me that life is the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death. That's pretty dang neat.

8. Biology
In order for something to be alive, it needs to have DNA, have energy, has to develop, has to FUCC, has to be able to move, has to be made of cells, and has to evolve. The song Energy by Drake meets 3/6 of these criteria, as it has energy, evolves over time, and has FUCC. Thanks for reading this.

7. English Class
Nothing else matters. 'Nuff said.

6. Corduroy Dreams by Rex Orange County
I have been listening to this song on repeat for a week now, and my brain is leaking out of my ears because it is so. good. Would be better if it was about money or snakes, but still.

5. Blankets
S O F T

4. Thrift Shop by Macklemore
Slither up to the club like what up I got a cool SSSSOCK, can't wait to buy some snakes from the pet shop.

1. Reptile Economists
I couldn't wait to get to the number one meaning of life, because it is THAT exciting!!!! I like to piss my pants because of snakes and the economy, so naturally this would be my number one reason.

0. BeYAAASé
Queen Bee. Snakes>bees, but still.

That's all I got for today. Comment questions I should answer in the future!!

Peace, Love, Snakes,
-MAD
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Top 10 Coffee Snakes

Mmmmmmmmmmmm........... coffee. It's warm, it's a drug, and it goes sploosh in your stomach. But this post isn't about coffee, it's about snakes. In my post "Top 10 Kinds of Snakes," I ranked the genus Ninia as #1. Since there are 10 species in the genus Ninia, I thought today I would rank them. Before we get started, let's talk about Ninia snakes all together: they are native to Mexico, Central America, and the northern part of South America. They are commonly referred to as coffee snakes, hence the name of this post. 10. Ninia franciscoi It breaks my heart to rank any kind of coffee snake last, but seeing as I couldn't find any pictures of this species, I have to rank them here. Time to go into my mud hut and cry for seventeen days! 9. Ninia celata I couldn't find a better picture, sorry. But it's still beautiful. 8. Ninia atrata Also called Hallowell's coffee snake. It's wearing a red choker, which is SO 2006, but ...
1 comment
Read more

Fun Snake Facts For Adults

There are so many lists of fun facts for kids, but why aren't there fun facts for adults? Adults can have fun. Adults deserve  to have fun. Adulthood isn't terrifying, and I'm definitely not using this to distract myself of an oncoming existential crisis. Let's get to the fun (adult) facts! 1. Snakes don't have eyelids. Right off the bat, snakes can't close their eyes because they don't have eyelids! This means they sleep with their eyes open. Don't you wish you could sleep right now? Isn't adulthood exhausting? 2. Snakes have flexible jaws so they can eat food bigger than their head. Just like you, snakes can bite off more than they can chew. Actually, snakes can't bite or chew, but you get my point. Don't you feel so overwhelmed right now? Life is a prison. 3. A decapitated head of a snake can still bite for several hours after death. Doesn't this remind you of the person you thought you cut off who still manages to hurt you? T...
Post a Comment
Read more

Snake skin?

Today I will be answering a very important question: "Snake skin?" This question means a lot to me since I am a snake enthusiast. Have fun! Skin is a stretchy fabric, but it's alive. It covers all living things until it gets too small and falls off. Someone once told me that skin is the largest organ in the body. I didn't know what an organ was, but a quick search showed me it was this: look at this organ Neat! A handy acronym to remember what skin is, is Skeet sKeet Inter Net. I'm not sure how it relates to skin, but make sure to remember that! On to snake skin. Snake skin is really fun because snakes shed it! You can find this skin later and sell it in the black market for $6. Some products like clothes, bags, and shoes are made of snakeskin, which this publication (MAD) strongly disagrees with. Clothing made of animals doesn't really make sense, both economically and in terms of snakes. Anway, I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Make su...
Post a Comment
Read more